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[01 Dec 2004|08:30pm] |
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) choke__hearts
yeah thats sooo me. go to it. add it. love it.
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[30 Nov 2004|05:49pm] |
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i killed this LiveJournal. ill make a new one when i have energy and when someone hasnt sucked the life from me.
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| some people are too needy. |
[28 Nov 2004|02:41pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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my room is almost 100% sex right now. my bed is hot and i have pictures up on my coarkboard wall. ahh i love my canopy[sp?] thingy too.
anna is the best friend a girl could ask for. or at least this girl. rahh!! <3that curly hair, and that sense of humor<3
ive gained alot of weight this break. im thinking its about time to fast. i havnt done that in along time. since my mom called me out on it a while back. i feel all full of toxins or something. that was odd sounding, i just feel gross.
..and im done dealing with it.
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| i think ill have to do this by day. |
[26 Nov 2004|08:00pm] |
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mood |
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 full |
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sooooooo yeah. we will start with wednesday. good day. went to "brunch" with anna, lauren v, tony, kyle, matt little, and aj bulman(sp?)<33. i love those kids a wholeee lot. we had fun :D. oooh yes i had a blast. kyle and i danced because we got bored with everyone just siting, and we listened to all of annas old weird music that i love oh so much. i came home then cleaned, then passed out in my clothes on my bed....aaaand therefor i missed picking my brother and sister in law up at the airport.
aaaand thursday, turkey day, was awesome as well. everyone of my brothers was here and the married ones had their wives here too. i love every last one of them. and this thanksgiving we all had more to be thankful for than ever, and i was so happy to just have us all together. yeah, my mom makes efing kickass cheesecake too. i felt like i gained 5 lbs just looking at it<3 i totally downed 3 peices of it.
friday/today all us gals in the family..all 5 of us gatherd in the Taho and went off Black Friday Shopping at freaking 5am. intense but i had a blast. that was like 4 out of 5 of my favorite girlies in the world. we had fun, eventhough we did not get much done at all. i bought nothing, unfortunatly. but we went to breakfast and went to a whole lot of stores and it was all good fun. then we came home and napped while the boys watched football. i only slept for like 5 minutes because the games were that intense. i love the boys in my family too. especially my little nephew. he kicks ass. buuuuut then we went out to dinner at OutBack where 2 of my brothers and 1 sister in law were working and it was like we were all together agian.
i have the best family in the world and i would rather hangout with them than anyone in the entire world. and my brothers are all fricken cool as shiiiiiiit. yall are all jealous your families are not as wonderful as mine!!! kidding. but i love them all :D
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| ?!?! |
[23 Nov 2004|08:03pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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music |
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TBS- number five with a bullet |
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okaaay so yesterday was the one month with the boyfriend. that was fun. yes it was.
buuuuuut yeah so everyone hates me. and it makes absolutly no sense to me. and everyone is talking shit, and they have no real reason to. what the hell? cant you people grow up and get a life? yeah but its really starting to wear on me and making me mad, and i NEVER get mad. fuck this. im pissed off as a biiiitch now.
and i love how everyone loves my best friend and thinks shes just the most awesome person in the world, and couldnt care less about me. its cool right? mhmm. i wish i could be as cool as her. everyone says shes got the best personality ever ect. ect. yeah im chopped liver compared to her. hahahaha. aghh i wish i had as much..outgoingness? sure that word works. and i wish i could be half as confident as she is, or at least act like it. i hate being jealous of people. i am not a jealous person. but sometimes its hard when youre bestfriend in the entire world is freaking awesome and everyone loves the shit out of her, and i feel like im always being compared to her, eventhough im not. i mean it sucks when i meet people waay before she does and shes better friends with them and they like her more within a day. its great. shes SO freaking pretty too. ah. i love her soo much. and i so hate being jealous of her.
</3... thanks for listening to me complain.
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[18 Nov 2004|09:31pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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ha so yesterday... the boytoy came over and he took me to the store to get stuff for Candace's going away thing in history tomorrow. aaaand then we painted my desk and i spilled the black paint everywhere. i swear my room is going to be the hotness, coarkboard wall and everything<3
then we ate grilled cheeses and then listened to some music and cuddled a little bit. and it was pure bliss. lastnight equaled love in my book. i was so happy. eventhough i got paint in my hair, wich is adding to the split end that is my hair.
ah. cuteness.
uhmm im tiered. i just finished babysitting, and i popped off two nails while i was doing that. and i made two lists (about my two loves) and i am heading off to bead to listen to the CD Macie Burned me. shes so sweet damn it. when im a senior, i want o tbe juuuuust like her. ha :D
i am going to cry tomorrow because its candace's last day. she is seriously one of my BFFs and i love her to death.
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[15 Nov 2004|05:52pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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Madison- Ive Got Fives |
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wow. i have been all intense about some Madison lately. i dont even know why. maybe this is the first time ive actually been able to relate to their lyrics. hmm. the songs all bring back intense memories of when everything seemed perfect, parties, friends, summer and love-ishness, never any trouble, no drama, and never anything to do, and i hate to say it but the first boy to break my heart. its not like i miss him, because i totally have my love who i love, but just the whole entire scene. hmm. okay whatever. i update too much, like now people can really see how much of a life i dont have.
my life consists of john, anna, and soccer..but hey i love all those things so i guess its not too bad.
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[14 Nov 2004|11:39am] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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im sorry. this has been one of the toughest weeks of my life... im trying, trust me. and i know you dont think i am. but when things that i dont even understand are going on and are scaring me more than ive ever been, its hard to be here.
edit(8:22pm): [new feeling: happy.]
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh im in love with my boyfriend's family.
and everything is wonderful.
i wish for there to be no school tomorrow. that Juliana Theory song is perfect for my feelings right now.
Tell your mom you need a day off
so we can play out in the rain
we'll catch a ride to the mall
go down to the arcarde
cause that's where all the cool kids play
...well at least those lines<3
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[10 Nov 2004|05:27pm] |
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mood |
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 overly full.... |
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well today was fricken one of the best days ive had in a loooong time.
HEYHEYHEY i have a B in Spanish cuatro. and im so so soooo proud of that. ah yess. beat that bitches.
aaaand when i left my purse at that party at the beach back before school started that had my ATM card in it and i was worried that someone might have taken the almost $2000 that was in my account out. well i found out today they didnt. so score.
i need a shower again, soccer kicks my ass soo hard, and it fucking owns. im sore as a biiit, and i smell like shit...so im off because im planning to hangout with the BF/GF tonight.
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| ...take me back to the good old days. |
[09 Nov 2004|06:55pm] |
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mood |
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 irritated |
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music |
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Casey Chambers- Pretty Enough |
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okay yay. i love how i complain about blahblahlah and then i eat about 4 peices of cake in 5 minutes. GAWDD. shits gaaaaaaaaaaay. well im just updating because i got bored and decided to redo this a little.
i would really love to hangout with my boyfriend today...but my dad just isnt coming home?? rahhh!!
whatevvvvvvvv. i hate going to lunch, and i hate when people joke me when im already super selfconcious. fuck people. fuck him.
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| here come the issues again. |
[08 Nov 2004|07:08pm] |
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mood |
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sore |
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music |
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something corporate<33 who else? |
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i came to this aweful realization while i was taking a bath. i am gaining so much weight and its getting waaaaaaaay out of hand. lardass...
...okay enough of that.
welllllllllllll.... hmm i miss the shit out of katie frank.waa.
im so sore. and i love it. i feel like i just got ran over by a truck score
i wish i could hangout with the love this evening, but according to the father i need to rest, becasue ive been more active in the past 2 days then i have been in about a year. wow. pathetic, maybe thats one reason why im so goddamn overweight. okay im forreal done with talking about that for the rest of my life.
aww candace is so sweet, she calls me her little Aphrodite. oh i love her to death.
conditioning=fun as shit.
and since i have nothing real to say. i think im dont now.♥
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| i wish my hip bones stuck out more too. |
[06 Nov 2004|01:10pm] |
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mood |
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 indifferent |
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music |
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Ben Folds. |
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well im sitting here, thinking about how i need to take a shower, but i dont really feel up to it right now.
one of these days i will live on shore drive in a sexy apartment and buy all my stuff at cool and eclectic<3 i really want to go there. i just really want to go to all those cool shops on shore drive, i think it would be fun as shit.
these damn fake nails are driving me crazy and they are making me sick. ha i really feel like shopping right now. ever since i got home from soccer ive been looking at all this stuff online. and im trying to find these sickk shoes. i am so determined, because ia m in love with them
click!!<33
gosh..okay, maybe ill go take a shower... nobody likes a smelly girl.
*random thought: wow, i totally had the time of my life at Warped Tour back in august.
edit (10:21):
okay hung out with john and we went to chuck E cheese's for his friends birthday party. it was fun... i enjoyed the people there, for the most part. i ate waaay too much pizza and now i feel super sick. i walk in the door 5 minutes late and my mom yells at me. lets freakout about it. godd. whatever. i dont care. im going to bed, i have a fricken double header tomorrow. i got to be ready for that. love love love.
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| i wish my collar bones stuck out more.... |
[04 Nov 2004|07:19pm] |
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mood |
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distressed |
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music |
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Credence Clearwater Revival |
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aaaand today sucked BALLS.
hmm. i talked my way out of a referral today..i hope<3
and im still upset about that and its the gayest thing everrrrrr. whatever not going into it.
i just took a bath, and it was a blast.
..today NEVER seemed to end. and i just want to go to sleep. and the damn rain doesnt seem to help much. i know people say they like the rain and they think it makes them sound cool.. but honestly im a sunshine girl all the way.
im convinced i have the best boyfriend<3 and i need to hangout with him.
tomorrow will rock too because i have two classes with sarah callis!!!!<3 love that girl. and i just might do my AP Stat Homework. ha riiiight ;)
god i love W. hes the man.
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| why, at this moment, do i seem to have so many problems? im usually the least complicated... |
[02 Nov 2004|07:45pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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music |
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something corporate. |
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i wish i knew how to express how i feel. i can never think of the words to say, and if i do...i always screw it up some how. god i wish i knew every word in the entire world so that i could possiby convey my feelings appropriatly. sometimes i wish i could be perfect enough. i mean, im nowhere near close..but being perfect enough would suit me just fine. i wish i wasnt so insecure. all the times that ive been fucked over have finaly seemed to have taken their toll. honestly, ive been on a fine edge now for a while, and its pissing me off. all i need.. God, i dont even know what i need. i do know.. i need to talk and open up. but im so scared to, because im not trying to get hurt. i never open up because its out of my comfort zone, but unfortunatly that zone is quite small. i hate the fact that im so flawed... i wish i could be more chill or more something. god i dont even know what im talking about. i do know... im sick of being scared. im scared of everything. im not ready for anything it feels like..maybe i am ready, im just not letting myself be ready. im sick of being so gay sometimes too..like im the one that needs to grow up, buuuuut im also scared of growing up.
i want to open up, i realy really do, and this time i am trusting that i wont get hurt.
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| your ass better not be talking about me. |
[01 Nov 2004|04:14pm] |
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mood |
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worried |
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music |
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fuck music right now. |
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okay. why all of a sudden do people hate me? i mean god, i hate getting those fucking dirty looks in the hallway. come on, ive never done anything to hurt anyone in anyway. people have no real reason to hate me. jealous ass bitches i guess. but its hurts when people (someone) i thought would be pretty cool is talking shit and glares at me, comeone now..grow up?
today at school ended in the worst way possible too. aaand its not impairative that i go into it, so i wont.
ERRR. im angry, and im incredibly worried. what a wonderful combination of feelings</3
on the brightside of things, this little kid told me i looked like a movie star, i thought it was super sweet. and candace and i got hit on by this big black guy..i guess that was..interesting? and i got a 106 on my spanish quiz. damn thats hard for spanish4..im proud as a mothaaa. and i finaly get to hangout with Anna today. i miss her so much.
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| boredomequalsdrasticmeasures |
[28 Oct 2004|02:50pm] |
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mood |
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 really dirty... |
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music |
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Something Corporate |
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well i am very bored right now, so i am totally going to make 2 lists...
1 consists of stuff i like, and the other about stuff i dislike, have a blast.
( i likah alottt )
( whoa, this stuff..i HATE(ish) )
fewf..that took some effort<3
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| go on just say it, you need me like a bad habbit♥ |
[25 Oct 2004|02:58pm] |
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mood |
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 thirsty |
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music |
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Feild Mice-Couldnt Feel Safer |
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hmmm well today was just another day i guess.
..i actually went to study block and lunch today. i hate doing that, but whatever. i was in a grand mood all day, except at lunch. casey makes me somewhat mad. hes always an ass to me. it makes me really really upset.
...okay, tell me why dory fields just called me to hangout...yeah..ha been there, done that....
anna said i looked prettier today then i have in a while..maybe because im happy..being happy and content always make people look better, like you can see it oozing from their poors. nice description elizabeth
umm i guess im done. hopefully ill get to hang out with john tonight. i hope so.
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| yess |
[21 Oct 2004|08:05pm] |
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mood |
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chipper |
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music |
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The Cure- Friday, Im in Love |
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ahh im soo excited about this layoutt!!! wee! ha im extremely excited.
♥ very much so.
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